PAIN, ANXIETY OFF THE CHARTS!
“Today I really struggle[d] with my fibromyalgia…”
And that’s after taking (so far today):
200mg Ultram (does nothing, hoping for placebo effect… Anything, somehow…)
4mg Klonopin, can’t take any more today, so I’m up Shit Creek without a flotation device.
150mg Vistaril, something my quack shrink, Dr Douchebag, gave me when he took away 2mg Klonopin daily (knocked me down from 6mg to 4mg on my first visit, practically as a way of saying hello). I think it’s a fucking antihistamine. Christ…
8mg Zanaflex, just taken out of desperation. Zanaflex is supposed to reduce muscle spasticity. Joyous drug…
All this to try to tolerate being alive on this foul day as I have no doc to go to — Dr 9 is on vacation, so I can’t go in for a shot of Demerol or even an IV of Benadryl… Goddam it I’d take anything to sleep or be in less pain or… Christ, not be the thing I am now.
Anxious about the What if the Pain Center doesn’t help me this Friday? I’ll be totally, completely fucked.
And the pain, I cannot stress enough, is unbearable. I can’t think of anything else and it’s the one thing I don’t want to think about…
Now I can’t write any more. Too much being upright for today.
I hope to post tomorrow and the next — off Friday for the Center appt. — and then to write Saturday with great news. Hopefully of an oxycodone script large enough to kill a horse, but simply make my daily life bearable.
Viva hate…
Tags: anxiety, chronic disorders, chronic fatigue disorder, chronic opioid analgesic therapy, COAT, demerol, depression, drugs, fibro, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgian, generalized anxiety disorder, health, injection, Klonopin, narcotics, opiates, opioid, opioids, oxycodone, pain, pain relievers, painkillers, panic disorder, Ultram, vistaril, zanaflex
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July 26, 2008 at 10:07
I too suffer from fibermyalgia! there are days i can barely get up the steps to go to the bathroom. i get lorcets ,and as you, zaneflex, and Relafen. whooooooo hooooo . doent help at all on the real bad days… I’m on klonopin also and cymbalta. i think the klonopin helps some cause it does relax me, but the pain never goes away. i sleep ALOT!!!! my life is not my own anymore. I liked to bowl and going out partying and have a great time…if i do that, i hurt even worse the next day.. I truly feel for anyone with fibermyalgia. its not all in our heads either!! we need to try to keep smiling and keep the faith that it will get better or maybe find a way to get relief. I’ve always been a happy fun to be around kind of person and I’ll be damned if I’ll give that up.. I’ve read alot of comments which helped me . it makes me realize I’m not alone.. take care of you and thanks.